I’m Back

I didn’t realize it had been so long since my last post until my good friend Zandria emailed me yesterday to make sure I was ok and keeping on track. 

I have one thing to blame my lack of posts on….my new, amazing boyfriend.  lol

You know how it is…..the excitement of a new relationship, the dinners out, the focus on making the other person happy.  Sidetracked me just a tad, but shifting some of the focus back on me and my journey.  The good news is that my weight this morning is again the exact same as the last 2 reports.  Maintaining….yes….but want to get back to losing. 

I had my first Easter Peeps this past weekend.  Instead of eating them all in one sitting, I managed to spread them out over the course of 3 days.  Felt a lot better than the first option.

Did anyone see the Lean Cuisine recall of the spaghetti and meatballs?  I did have a couple of them recently, but luckily no plastic in mine.  You never know what you are going to find.  If anyone else eats this brand and hasn’t already tried…a couple of my other favorites are the Spinach and Mushroom Pizza and the Sesame Chicken.  I know I could be doing a lot better than frozen meals, but they provide me with a quick alternative when I’m at work.  Usually, I will pair them with something else, otherwise I am hungry again within a short time.  Anyone want to offer up their favorite quick and easy lunch favorites?

Changes

I have started to notice some small changes with my body since this journey started.  Particularly with my stomach.  That was actually one of the last places I noticed I started not to like when I gained the last part of my weight, so it’s interesting that it’s one of the first places I feel like I am losing the weight.  Yeah!!

Also, I can feel some change in how quickly I get tired doing certain activities.  Building up my stamina was definitely one of the motivating factors to lose weight.  It’s tough sometimes to be with a group of people who seem to have endless energy, while I just want to sit down and take a break.  Yeah!!

My weight today is 272.  Look familiar?  (insert 5 year old jumping up and down with flailing arms…I want to see that 6 in the second spot!!!)  lol

I can’t believe today is March 1st already, wasn’t it just Christmas?  March 1st means Easter is coming and that means 1 thing….PEEPS.  Anyone out there want to vouch for me on this one?  ;)  I will definitely be checking out the sugar free peeps that the lovely Nichole suggested to me.

 

 

The bandwagon has temporarily stalled…

My weight today is the exact same as last week.  I don’t really feel one way or another about it, just glad it didn’t go in the wrong direction.  I think the main reason I have stalled is not “thinking” about it enough.  I have had a lot of happiness come my way recently and my focus wavered a bit.  (not saying that is a bad thing)  :)

I’m looking forward to the warmer temps sticking around so I can start playing some tennis again.  I think back to the days where I used to play almost every day and was pretty darn good….I know that girl is gone for now, but I can get her back.  Hopefully  my friends/opponents won’t be too hard on me for not moving as fast.  lol

I read an article last night in Health magazine about the healthiest fast food breakfasts.  Of course listed was McDonald’s fruit and maple oatmeal.  I have heard from a couple people that they like this, so I am going to challenge myself to try it the next time I go.  I have always had a problem eating oatmeal, primarily because of the texture.  I don’t know what it is….it’s just a strange aversion for me….

Back to the happiness mentioned in the first paragraph…it gives me yet another kick to want to improve my health.  My main focus is doing this for ME, but it also helps to know there are other important people in my life that I want to be around for.  :)

Excited

My weight this morning: 272, down 8!  So excited.  Slow and steady, but definitely motivating.  I am looking forward to seeing a 6 in that second spot.  ;)

Went to another meeting last night, been pretty much going weekly.  I have met some amazing people and I appreciate the ability to call/text someone when a craving strikes.  I have some other positive changes going on too.  Will share more on those in the near future…

I think another realization that has been happening for me is coming to terms with the fact that no one is perfect.  I have always had this crazy idea in my head looking at other people who just seem so happy…that they have everything under control and have not a care in the world.  In getting to know people though, I realize that is not the case.  Everyone has their flaws, everyone has their struggles, and we are all different.  I have always had an intense fear of being judged, but over the years am seeing that the people who care about me the most judge the least.

Oh yes, and Valentine’s Day.  I wanted to surprise my parents, so I ran out yesterday to get a card and some of their favorite candy.  It wasn’t until a few hours later that I thought to myself…hmm, I didn’t buy anything for me!  It sounds so simple, but means so much to me.  That is proof that I am truly changing my ways.  I even resisted the Valentine PEEPS, those who know me know what a huge thing that is!  LOL

 

Blizzard

No, not a real blizzard.  An ice cream blizzard.  What I am intensely craving right now.  I have been fighting it off the past 2 hours.  Just told a coworker that I was making a trip, then told her I am going to write on my blog instead.

This is quite an intense craving today.  One of my trigger foods is ice cream.  I wouldn’t have even thought of having it today, except when I went to retrieve my Lean Cuisine from the freezer at work, there were 2 pints of ice cream staring at me.  Thus commenced the urge to feed my body the fattening frozen treat.

Dana: 1  Blizzard: 0

Honesty

Wow, this past week has flown by, I can’t believe it’s been this long since my last post.  One of the things I promised myself when I started this blog was that I would be honest, not only with everyone reading, but with myself.  Honestly?  This has not been the greatest week food wise.  I cannot stress enough how much this addiction to food can grab hold of you and not let go.  It’s a really hard thing to explain, but those who suffer from any sort of addiction can certainly attest to it. 

The difference between this time I am trying to lose weight and the last, oh, 80 times, is that I am not giving up.  Usually a week will go by, I falter, and back to my old ways it is.  This time I refuse to quit…as I have learned in some of my meetings recently, we can only focus on today.   I can’t allow myself to think about tomorrow and what I might do or not do.

-We interrupt this blog post to bring you an important announcement.  Dana will not be discussing the subject of Super Bowl Sunday…or wings…or pigs in a blanket.  Thank you.-

On a positive note, the changes I have been making have had a profound effect on my confidence and mentality lately.  There are days I feel like a new person…and for those who know my past (and cruel high school students who will remain nameless) they can probably tell you I have come a long way.  It amazes me that even with a few simple changes, I feel better and feel like I look better. 

Another learning experience for me is discovering what my “trigger” foods are.  I have been thinking back over many years and am compiling a list of foods that contribute to my addiction.  Once I am finished with this endeavor, it will be a goal of mine to abstain from these items.  Bring on the challenge!

Support

I have been realizing more and more what I have been missing all this time while trying to lose weight.  Support.  Starting this blog has been amazing for me.  Scary, yes…but amazing.  The outpouring of support and well wishes is something I will never forget and will always be thankful for.  So, thank you.

When I first shared with a few people that are close to me that I was going on this journey and had started attending OA meetings, I got a similar response…”but you don’t overeat.”  I have not only been fooling everyone else, but have been fooling myself.  That’s the struggle about my food addiction, that it usually happens when I am alone.  I have been working to combat that however…surrounding myself by family and friends, and finding other ways to diminish filling voids with food.

One person I wish was here to talk to about this journey is my Grandma.  I know she is watching over me, probably rooting me on with every single step.  I would love to be able to just sit down with her though, tell her what’s been happening.  I had her in my life for an amazing 26 years.  Not ONCE in those 26 years did she ever make me feel any less than beautiful or worthy of love.  She is now the best guardian angel a girl could ask for.  :)

On another note (and quite random), I would like to start a petition that all McDonalds everywhere be closed.  lol  There is something so enticing about breakfast at McD’s…so much so that I have started taking an alternate way to work so I don’t have a reason to stop.  That’s the thing about a food addiction though…you don’t realize how strong the pull is for something particular unless you have experienced it yourself.

Hope everyone has a great week!